Give thanks you’re not playing for the Bears

November 25, 2009 / / 1 Comment

I’ve been on the road this week (in fact, drove 850 miles in 11 hours on Monday — it wasn’t a great idea, but I will brag about it), so this post isn’t exactly timely. But I want to vent before tomorrow’s post-turkey overdose.

I’m generally not a sports assclown, but I am a huge fan of football, and would like to note that the Chicago Bears lost AGAIN Sunday, 24-20, at home to the Philadelphia Eagles.

But the Bears could just as easily lost to the Eagles, the band, in their current touring lineup:

  • Glenn Frey – vocals, guitars, keyboards, harmonica
  • Don Henley – vocals, drums, percussion, guitar
  • Joe Walsh – guitars, vocals, keyboards,
  • Timothy B. Schmit – bass guitar, acoustic guitar, vocals

And Frey has no wind at all because he doobed his way through the 70s, 80s, and 90s.

Why do the Bears suck so bad? It has to come from the top: ownership, management, coaching, star players. That’s obvious, but not too interesting.

What’s stunning to me as a current Chicago resident is that the sports base in the greater Chicagoland area actually puts up with this crap. Come on, this is a storied franchise! Why the suckball for so many seasons? And who in ownership is so in love with Rex Grossman that they’ve essentially cloned him as Jay Cutler?

But I don’t put this on Cutler. It takes a village of underperformers to keep things this mediocre, and few QBs could stand in the pocket as their O-line collapses like Iceland’s economy. Not to mention not having a true 1-WR, stand-out backs and ends, et al.

I didn’t grow up a Bears fan, so I feel more objective in my criticism. Being from North Carolina, the choices then were the Atlanta Falcons or Washington Redskins, which is why I pulled for the Miami Dolphins and the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Oh, speaking of, here’s hoping the Panthers suck just enough to get their head coach, John Fox, booted so Bill Cowher can step in with little fuss. It may not happen, but it would be sweet.

So the Bears will likely not collapse completely — they play the Ravens and the Rams, although they have to play the Vikings twice in 30 days — but it can’t look good for next season.

Posts like this may explain why Lovie hasn’t yet accepted my friend request on Facebook, though.